All of the kids always talk about how when they grow up they
want to be a gun slinger or a bounty hunter not many kids grow up to be such a
thing but when your dads name is Dead Eye Drake and your Mom gives birth to you
on horseback riding away from a posy of apaches well the legend must go on. I
never asked to be a cold blooded murdering bounty hunter but I’d choose that
over a preacher any day. Having a Winchester or a revolver pressed against your
temple is a horrible way to go but that’s my job and hey ever man that I put in
a body bag buys quite a bit of whiskey. People look and whisper when I walk
through town there scared of me (and for good reasons to) they grab their
children and close up shop but I don’t want to be worshiped all I want is to be
paid.
“Russ! Russel! Quit writing in your diary and come join us
for a drink!”
“It ain’t a diary randy it’s a journal!”
“What’s the difference what matters is that you’re not over
by the fire having a drink with the guys”
“I’ll be there in a sec”
“Fine more whiskey for us!”
I guess
I should tell you the where’s the who’s and the how’s. Well at first it was
just me my horse speedy and old faithful (a double barrel shot gun). I was 17
when I collected my first bounty, I was planning to go into the woods so shoot
some coons for small money when I overheard the sheriff talking to a gunslinger
about a wanted bandit named Cut Throat Crenshaw Coon and his two sons Cody Coon
and Calvin Coon held up in a cave just past Coper Mountain Mine. The bandits
had just stolen two horses and slit the rancher who owned the horses ear to
ear. Well id told my father id be going coon hunting so I’m technically not
lying. I wanted to get there before anybody else so I high tailed it out of
town. Coper Mountain Mine is a 30 minute ride and I got there in 16 minutes now
you know why they call him speedy. When I got close to the cave I hitched
speedy to a tree branch and loaded old faithful I crept up to the entrance and
I could hear whooping and hollering and I could smell something like ten month
old meat left out in the sun. But I need to get closer now I know what you’re
thinking how someone can just become a killer in a matter in seconds well I
grew up in a town called the Noose. My pa and I used to go to hangings like it
was a town fair so after a while I got used to the fact that those people were
Murderers and thieves and they deserve to be punished. Back to the story I
needed to get closer because old faithful isn’t any good if you aren’t within
15 feet of the sucker. So I ran to the entrance of the cave and that’s when I
saw it. It was a damsel in distress all tied up and slowly cooking over a bon
fire then I saw the poor farmer or what was left of him they weren’t after the
horses they were after the people I suppose I should have listened to the
sheriff a bit longer. I couldn’t let them cook this girl so I yelled as loud as
I could and the 3 cannibals grabbed their guns put the girl on the ground and ran
out of the cave but I was waiting for them I pumped the first one with lead so
fast he couldn’t even yell then the second one saw me and tried to raise his
gun but I already had a bead on him two cannibals down one to go. The third one
ran out which I’m guessing was Crenshaw I pointed the barrel and his head and
CLICK CLICK CLICK! How stupid am! I it’s a double barrel he gave me a sick grin
and holstered his gun and got out a gruesome 20” long blood soaked blade. I
tried baking up but a tree was blocking my path he started to chuckle and I saw
eight uneven teeth in his blackened mouth he put the blade to my ear and and
said
“This is gonna be fun”
In a demented tone then his smile went away replaced by a
look of terror and then I saw a curved knife was sticking out of his gut he
tried gasping for air but he fell and what replaced his sad excuse for a human
being was a 6’3” African American with ripped arms and hands the size of
catchers mitts he had a blue bandana wrapped around his head no shirt on a
woodsman ax and a hunting bow if he hadn’t have saved me id of thought he had
come wring my neck. Then he grabbed me by my arm pits and I thought I was a
goner but he gave a warm chuckle and put me on my feet I thought about running
away but the man just saved my life so I stood there and managed to muster up
the words
“Who… where…why I mean I… umm thanks”
like thunder he replied “to answer my name is Rudolph but
you can call me randy to answer the where I was picking berries nearby when I
heard gun shots and to the why because not all white folk re bad and you looked
like you could use some assistance oh and your welcome”
I was speechless he walked me back to speedy and gave him
some berries then he wanted to know if I were heading back to Noose I told him
I lived there and asked if he had a horse he said he liked to run and he told
me to keep speedy at a steady jog so that we could talk. On the way home I told
him all about how I overheard the sheriff talking to a bounty hunter about the
bandits and the stolen horses and how I rode down there. Then it hit me the
girl we left her behind I felt like such an idiot.
“Uh randy I accidentally may have left something behind” I
said to him in a quiet voice
“And what would that be kid” He replied chuckling a little
“Umm A girl” I said even quitter
“HAHA is that so” he retorted
“Yeah I’m not kidding I’m being serious” I whimpered
“Oh uh well we should go back then” He finally said after
seeing how serious I was
We got
the girl and speedy wasn’t too happy to have another person on his back the bad
news she was an orphan but the good news was that she fainted after seeing the
mess me and randy made so we didn’t have to listen to her cry the whole time.
Randy told me all about his adventures I was so perplexed by all the things had
done that I must have lost my way in the pass because the next time I looked up
I was staring at a canyon entrance. I thought about turning around since I
never seen this canyon before but I also thought that it could be a short cut
so I went in not even telling randy (who was new to this area) that we might be
lost. About 10 minutes of walking me and randy heard a yell but we soon forgot
about it and kept talking then another and another then it hit me those yelps
and screams were from Indians the canyon was on Indian territory. Just my luck
what an adventure id just had and those these darn Indians are going to come
and kill us well I won’t stand for it. I reached into my saddle bag and whipped
out two shells for old faithful right as the Indians started showering arrows
down on us randy was picking them of he was a wonderful shot meanwhile I was
trying my best to keep the horse calm. Finally I got speedy to start moving when
randy jumped on speedy’s back I was almost positive he would collapse but he
stayed strong and started to run arrows were everywhere every now and the id
hear an arrow whiz past my ear or an Indian yelp but we were more or less safe.
The Indians were a small problem compared to the heat of the west and there
wasn’t a lick of water it didn’t take long for me to start dozing of all I
wanted to do was just take a little nap. We walked endlessly through the canyon
then night started to come and if you’ve ever spent the night in the desert you
would know it gets frigid and we had no blankets or kindling just rocks and
dirt.
I’m laying there huddled up against a small
boulder when the girl finally woke up she started to cry and complain I
couldn’t take it so I tried my best to go back to sleep but it took me a while
to finally doze off. When I awoke randy was standing over me with a hand full
of mushrooms he kept ranting on about his spirit animal. I didn’t understand
him. The girl was nowhere in sight so I asked randy where she might be but he
kept trying to catch his shadow so I left him to it to go find some food before
we headed out I was walking along the wall when I found a shell casing it was
still silver no rust or wear and tear it was fairly new. I ran back to randy
and tried to talk to him but all I wanted to do was stare at my palm so I went
back to investigate. I went further into the canyon when I found a rope and
climbing gear still attached to the cliff and curiosity got the best of me so I
climbed, my hands were on fire and I was sweating like a mad man but I had to
go on I finally got to a ledge where I could rest I was still worried about the
Indians and their whereabouts but I had to keep climbing this could be the only
way out of this cursed canyon. When I got to the top it was a horror show at least
20 dead Indians but only three dead white folks as I got near the first white
man I realized it wasn’t a man but a women and this woman was my mother.
I fell to my knees trying to hold back tears
but they forced themselves out of my eyes it was all my fault if I hadn’t of
been such an idiot and gone to the cave my mother would still be alive. Then he
gasped in horror his pa he had been the other white body he couldn’t take it he
crumbled to the ground and curled in a ball they had died looking for me i was
responsible for their deaths. The third body meant nothing to him after his parent’s
bodies but he identified it as the kidnaped girl she must have been the one who
put the ropes up the side of the canyon. Now I
laid there for who knows how long but when I mustered up the strength to stand
I walked back to randy eyes puffy and red with his mother’s necklace in his
hand (randy had finally stopped acting weird). Randy suggested they go to Noose
but he didn’t know where they were so the walked the canyon till they found a
small town where they regained their strength and whit’s. They collected the
bounty for the men they had slain and used the money for ammo and guns. Ever since then I walked the west with randy
collecting bounties. Well now you know my story so if you don’t mind I’ll be
having a drink.
